The House of Cards

Oh, the irony

2009-12-13T23:20:59Z

I finally finished revising my article The Graphic Novelist's Starter Kit last weekend.

It was in idea that popped up on August 7th of this year when I was reading alot of Writer's Digest magazines. I wanted to find articles like those in WD but for comic artists. I still haven't found any.
So, I wrote this article inspired off one for writers on how to start and finish your graphic novel dream.

Highly ironic since I haven't finished anything myself! I can't get it published anywhere since I haven't published or finished anything. Who would publish an article by someone who's done nothing?

I will post it up on here (for no one to read) but I got a flash idea for an illustration to go along with it. I'm just having a hard time transposing the image from my mind's eye to the paper.

In my mind, it's a Pandora's box inspired image with the character facing head on, the chest in front of her looking upwards with a surprised look on her face and her hands sorta frozen in the air not touching the box as swirly smoke rises from the box.

The original idea was the character holding like a tool kit and some of her characters rising off of the paper on the drawing table, but that wasn't very whimsical or surreal at all. I like whimsical and surreal. It's why I like Yoshitaka Amano, Ayumi Kasai, Arthur Rackham and other golden age illustrations and other artists. I need to visit DeviantArt to get inspired.

I just have to remember to not be discouraged because I can't just pull the image out of my mind. I know that often artists can't get the image they want but settle for something else. Or maybe it's because I'm rusty or self-taught.

Here is my current desktop wallpaper, hopefully it will inspire me to get things done along with affirmations. I did finish my WD short story entry so perhaps it's working slowly already.

I've been fiddling around with the guitar a little bit. By far the strongest creative urge I have right now has to do with singing, because it's the thing I do the most. I've always had a vague interest in it. I have a habit of singing in the car with songs. I won't complain because singing is good for the throat chakra. I need it to help with creativity in other areas.

B-day surprise!!!

2009-11-30T01:41:39Z

So, today is my 29th b-day!

Quiet and uneventful compared to the birthdays some people have, but the single greatest gift was the fact that I actually wrote and finished a short story!!!!!

Well technically, I started it yesterday. So to me being creative is one of the best gifts I could get.

It's for the Writer's Digest Short Short story competition which ends 12/01/09. I always wait down to the wire. lol However, their website is down so it looks like I won't be able to submit it online.

I'll have to get it mailed tomorrow.There's a $15 entry fee.

I'm currently editing/revising right now. I don't think it's that bad for a first attempt at the short story form. I kept getting daunted about trying to find words but it is finished. And that is the most important.

I went out to eat at Rafferty's with my sis and the rents. I wanted to try this restaurant called Lovin Spoonful Cafe, but they are only open for lunch, so I'll have to try them another time. They have American and vegetarian cuisine. They do serve some meat there though.

I DID IT!!! YAY!!!

The Eco-friendly Comic Artist? Redux

2009-11-14T01:58:03Z

* The bolded parts are new ideas that I added to the original article.

The Eco-friendly Comic Artist?

*Use an Energy Star laptop, as they suck up less power than a desktop.
*Use rechargeable batteries if you use a laptop instead of a desktop computer. This seems like a better eco option than the desktop because it might not cost as much to recharge your batteries compared to your desktop sucking electricity the entire time it's on.
*Purchase Offsets. For alternative energy or trees to be planted, etc to offset the electricity you use. This one seems a bit tricky, as you would have to calculate hours and how much electricity was used.

The Process:

*Writing and layouts.

Write and draw the rough drafts of your comic off the computer. This saves some energy and also lessens distractions if you are the type who is lured into procrastination by the internet or music. Use the computer to type up the final draft so that it is easier to revise, edit, and move parts around in your script. This is of course; if you are the type who writes a full script first then proceeds to layout. Those who can do a rough illustrated script won’t have this problem and really cut down on computer usage.

Supplies:

*Reuse. #1 rule.
Always try to reuse what you can. You can use scraps of paper to write on, print on the back of other papers, nibs/ink pens that are no longer good to draw/ink with use them to write with instead. You could also
take stuff from other people if it's useful for you. Say someone is going to throw out a bunch of pencils because they don't like them for whatever reason. Don't be picky, a pencil is a pencil! I know some might argue they need to use a certain pencil to draw with but I believe that's really all in your mind. It's the mind/hand/eye coordination you draw with not the pencil. So, take those pencils and use them. You save yourself some money in the process. Always use up what you have first before you buy more.

*Reduce.
The waste you create and the resources you use. Do you really need five different pens to ink with? Perhaps you can go down to one. For example, I'm interested in getting the Tachikawa pen (it functions like a Maru/G-pen depending on how you use it and you can buy ink refills that you can hopefully recycle) instead of using several different sizes of Sakura Micron or Zig Millennium pens. But use up what you have first!

*Recycle.
what you can. You can check out www.earth911.org to find out what and how to recycle things in your area or in general. Old papers, etc that you no longer want recycle them. Shredded paper can be recycled too!

*Buy/use only what you need.
Blue Line Pro and other places online offer green artist supplies, but you should only buy those when you need to restock. Use up what you have first. Perhaps using some pens you didn't like will help you experiment and discover new techniques. If you have something you no longer want or need try and sell it online. They are plenty of people who'll buy your used stuff if they are getting it cheaper than buying new.

http://painting.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_be_a_green_artist

*Use recycled paper.
Look for recycled paper with high post consumer waste if possible and available. There is recycled paper for printers. As far as drawing/illustration paper though, I'm not sure of the kind or the quality of what is available. You would have to experiment to see if there is a viable substitution for your sequential pages and illustrations. For instance, I have the B4 manga paper that has the print measurements and I know that it doesn't come recycled. The lesson for me here is to learn to mark out my own printing measurements and safe areas, if there is a good recycled paper available. Or I could use one of the premarked papers to make a template that I could transfer if I find a workable recycled paper. See, the ideas are flowing already!

*Use refillable pencils/pens.
This will create less waste and you should be able to recycle the container the pencil lead comes in and hopefully the old ink cartridges. There are pencils made out of recycled materials but I couldn't find anything on how to actually recycle old pencils (the wood kind).

Getting it out there:

*Web comics.
Use simple graphics and background colors that reduce resources. The link has a chart, which lists the amount of watts different color backgrounds use. http://www.thegreenspider.com/save_energy.php

*Print comics.
Look for publisher that uses recycled paper and vegetable/soy inks. OR suggest it and see what they say. It sounds weird but you don't know if you don't ask. You want to avoid excess and waste. Hopefully, all your books will sell! Research is key here.

This article is a work in progress. I will continue to think/research ways to be a green comic artist. Right now since I still have a lot of old supplies to use up, I'm in the Reuse/use up what you have camp. LOL.
Besides I'm still working on getting the courage/strength to get over my fear. I set this intention everyday before I start my yoga practice. What happens on the mat flows into your life, so soon I will be working on pages. I will try and optimize my electricity use not just for art but also in general. I will also look into offsets. I'd think I prefer trees being planted or promote alternative energy (when I bought my OM necklace I offset it by buying a wind power credit. It didn't cost much either). Then I don't have to necessarily figure out my electricity use.

Don't stress about how much you are doing. Be mindful. Do what you can even if it's small, it all adds up. If anyone reads this I welcome other green comics ideas. LOL If I got more info about this I could do a book.... Maybe in graphic novel format...

I looked up green/eco art and only found a little bit. I'm sure there is more info out there.
http://www.capfringe.org/green-artist.html
http://www.yourphototips.com/2008/09/15/how-to-be-a-green-photographer/
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1721592/eco_friendly_craft_and_artists_supplies.html?cat=24
http://www.aboutmyplanet.com/environment/daily-eco-art/
http://comicweb.com/goinggreen.htm

Energy flowing

2009-11-12T16:15:26Z

WARRIOR 10/25/09

Take what's love and let it be
a crystalline mirror
that transforms the seat

A million hands doing, believing
the earth is transformed into
a beautiful place
positive, light, a gift

Soar up high like birds in flight
No longer living in endless night

Hands, all hands extend a reach
give what you can
love all you see

Courage, motivation, strength, and passion
these are the weapons of a warrior who fastens
hold to their purpose and makes it so
Lighting the dark of the world they show

On warrior, to the field of dreams!
Engage, transform, be
a spreader of wisdom
joy, spirit, delight
the yogic warrior gives never fights

Be the Divine
Light a fire to the world
Be conscious in passion, life, and mind
the world will change
You are Divine

I finally revised the Yogic Warrior poem from before taking it from personal to more impersonal. It was inspired by the Yoga Journal Seane Corne "Off the Mat, into the World workshops" excerpt about taking your good qualitites and what you love doing and using it as a vehicle of change in the world.

We're almost done with getting everything put away in the rental house now, so that's a relief. I have a room dedicated now to art, writing, and yoga and I can tell a difference in the energy already! No more sharing bedroom energies and "work" for lack of a better word, energies together.

Now, I need to devote time to working on my Writer's Digest short short short story competition entry.

I have also decided that I'd like to be a certified yoga/meditation teacher. IT would be enjoyable work to do when I'm not doing comics or other creative things. BECAUSE I'm going to work on getting graphic novels published! No more wasting away.

I'll have to do the certifications online and I have found a place that seems well informed and reputable. I think I do the meditation teacher course first at it is only about $250 I believe. There are actually several course I'm interested in.

Truth in a Snippet

2009-10-18T23:44:37Z

"That which matters THE MOST should never give way to that which matters THE LEAST."- a snippet from a luluemon athletica magazine ad.

I realize how true it is too. The least important mundane tasks are the ones which dominate my life rather than the most important which is being creative again. I get so wrapped in preparing for work the next day when I come home.

I won't counting cooking because that is part of being mindful and healthy so that is important. But I really should take the time to be creative. You have to make time for things you want to do. So after when get this moving thing done I am going to do just that.

I've also been sick for almost 3 weeks now. It's just a bad cold, but it's excerbated by work stress andnot doing my yoga practice or exercising to let my body rest. The weather doesn't help either. I would be better but since I have my digestive issues I stay sick longer. 70% of your immune system is in your digestive track so when that's weak you take longer to get better. It's so annoying because I never used to get sick.

I see now how much my yoga practice is a buffer in my life. My neuritis is acting up in my left leg. My right arm and hand have been tingly, there's tension and stress in my neck and shoulders. I'm irritable and feeling sad. I'm slouching. I'm worried about the money that has to be spent to move utlities and that we have to pay rent here and at the rental house. We need an appointment to get moved, which I meant to make Friday but forgot.

What if we don't get moved out by Nov 12th? Am I going to get my deposit back? Just somany nagging little things, the most uncomfortable is the neuritis in my left leg. And the despair over work. I'm grateful for my job but it's not fulfilling and I get paid poorly. What is the value of having done well in school and being smart if I have a job that reaches none of the skills I supposedly learned as a philosophy major. A job I could do without having went to college at all. I seem stuck in in this place. Everyone says I could do better why am I there? Because I can't leave seemingly. I do apply for other jobs.

Today, I realized the value of restorative or Yin yoga. It can be there for you when you can't engage in a faster or Yang practice as they call in in Yin yoga. I've been resting but I feeling like I'm falling apart. So, I'm going to have to do some gentle yoga and research incoporating restorative yoga into my practice.

I even ate some salmon this weekend! I was wavering on eating some meat again but I don't know. Reading old magazines reaffirmed my commitment to being vegetarian. I don't know. I'm just so grateful for everything I get from yoga because I've seen in these past 2 weeks what my body and mind is like without it.

A slouching, tense, in pain body and an anxious, irritated mind.

I'm also trying an elimination diet for 2 weeks or so. I think I have an intolerance of wheat/gluten so I'm testing out the theory. The choices are so limited though and low in fiber! I officially start tomorrow.

Onward Yogic Warrior!

2009-10-04T22:39:01Z

I miss art and comics
creation, the flow
When I had those I didn't live below
Up high I soared like a bird in flight
Not living in, this endless night
To finish a project, that is the dream
Abstaining from it makes me scream

No one is stopping me but the hands I see here
yet something holds me back, what is the fear?
Courage, motivation, strength and passion
these are the weapons of a warrior who fastens
hold to their purpose and makes it so
like a light in the dark, they glow
On warrior, to the field of dreams!
You can do it. Just be.
09/29/09 poem from 9:15pm

I think if I made that less personal and maybe more epic, it could be called "Yogic Warrior." I seemed to be fascinated with the idea of a warrior lately. Probably because there is this battle that needs to be fought within myself. A battle to defeat old samskaras, resistance, complacency, and procastination among other negative things.

The intial idea of the warrior battling demons occurred when I was listening to Within Temptation's "What have you done" and I got one of those moments when you are struck with an idea that you know comes from the Divine wellspring and not yourself. It was the idea for the big battle at the end of my graphic novel baby, Universe. It really is the music in that song rather than the actual lyrics that are more important because the lyrics are about breaking up with someone and the emotions that go along with that which doesn't relate to Universe at all, but the melody of the song and the way they sing it, along with the instrumentation fit Universe, though.

On another note, I want to get a tattoo on my lower back of Cosmos and Moira (main characters of Universe), with the motto "Eventually, everything falls apart." But I have to think of a design first. I sorta have one in mind. It would be drawn by me of course, all they would have to do is put on whatever kind of transfer paper they use.

I also want on my back right shoulder area (the same place Angelina Jolie has tattoos) the four Great Sayings: "Consciousness is Brahman, This atman is Brahman, I am Brahman, and Thou art that", and I want OM on the back of my neck.

I don't want them to look like traditionals tattoos but more like mehndhi(which by the way are what Cosmos' tattoos are like, mehndi designs). I like the designs and the red brown sepia color they use. But I don't have the money to blow on tats right now, so it will have to wait.

Actually, when my sis got her tattoo I was talking about drawing and the owner of the parlor asked to see something. I had my current avatar on my cell and he asked me about tattooing. He said I could make good money, but I don't know. lol

At that aside, it's time to do better and it's time to use yoga to help me with my creative dreams. I think I had been setting to long an intention before each yoga practice and should narrow it down. Here's my plan for yoga creativity aide:

Do before each creative endeavor:
*Set intention.To pursue/complete artistic dreams with no fear
*Mini meditation. For 5 breathes
*Chant Ganesha mantra 3X. To invoke Ganesha as ally in creative efforts or any effort. "Om Gam Ganapataye Namahah"-Salutations to he who is the remover of obstacles.
*Camel pose. This pose is a prescription for no motivation according to the iYogalife website. Then counter with Downfacing Dog or Child's pose.

I've also been wanting to learn to play guitar. My sis in here endless endeavors picking up then dropped bought an electric guitar and I was fooling around with it about two weeks ago. I played flute in middle school and just strumming the guitar without knowing what I was doing brought joy and peace to me. I used to think that you foolishly had to restrict yourself creatively to one or two things but you don't have to! The creative life is the life worth living, so any little creative thing that pops in my head I want to attempt to entertain it.

I think I'm goin to start keeping a creativity journal. Any little creative thing I do or thought I have I can record it and see how often I'm getting creative. I know I should just dive in there and start doing it again, but there is this invisible glass wall stopping me, so baby steps are necessary to crack the glass and free myself.

I also have been thinking about looking into playwriting. I had this silly thought that I could get some extra moolah if I got a play put on here in Clarksville. lol The current thought is based off The Metamorphosis poems I still haven't finished.

Oh, I've also been sporadically working my entry for the WD short story competition, so I'm happy about that. I think part of my problems is that I'm too wrapped up in mundane tasks rather than letting somethings slide and focusing on being creative.

Guess who's back? Back again? Supe is back! Tell a friend!

2009-09-13T23:16:06Z

So, the 5th season opening of Supernatural Thursday night was really good! I had been expecting over the entire summer for Satan to make a physical presence right at the beginning of the episode.

I kept thinking that Sam was going to be his vessel but they really blind-sided everyone by having Dean be the vessel for Michael. I'm wondering how they are going to portray Satan because the little interaction that we got makes it seems like they are going to do this sympathetic portrayal with God being the bad guy.

Things are always twisted around on Supernatual so I wouldn't be surprised to see that. I was upset that that bitch Meg was back because she was supposed to have been shot and killed by the Colt. They mentioned something about miracles so I guess that's why.

I also thought they alluded to God having returned even though God was cold enough to leave in the first place.

Ah well, I return to my warm familiar glow of sitting under the tv on thursday nights at 8pm, and drooling over Jensen Ackles. Yummmy.

By the way if you don't watch Supernatural, you should. And tell all your friends to watch it too!

Mindful Eating: Yoga for IBS

2009-09-05T20:51:10Z

Ode to IBS

IBS, you cause me great distress
IBS, why do you leave me in such unrest?
Bloating and swelling, there is so much pain
But learning to manage you will be my game
Yoga and mediation
and breathe and food
These are my keys to outdo
Oh IBS, I shall beat you down
No longer will I sit in the bathroom with a frown
Regularity is freedom
an effecient body
No longer will yellow have blocked energy in my body
Oh IBS, you win for now
But tomorrow will shall see
who looks the clown

In honor of National Yoga month, I have been wearing a pin I made out of the magazine advertisment to work everyday. I'm also wearing my OM earrings and bracelet along with my necklace. I want to highlight this month as much a possible, the ways that yoga helps me. I'd like to do a yoga demonstration at work but I don't think anyone would go for that. Oh well.

I also have switched to using blue and red ink at home. I read in to magazines that there was a study done at a British Columbia University which stated blue encourages creativity and is good for brainstorming. Red is good for focus so it helps with details. Concidentally the second day (27th Aug) I began reusing blue ink (which I used all the time during high school) this Ode to IBS poem popped out. It was a wonderful surprise.

I has some tummy troubles not to long ago and my regular doctor sent to me to see a gastroentrologist and they told me I have Irritable Bowel syndrome-constipation predominant. My regular doctor put me on Amitiza 8 mcg. It's rather inconsistent. Very hit or miss. It might also be due to me not drinking enough water. I just went recently again and they told me to try taking 2 in the morning and 1 at night. I'm about to start that when I get to my new bottle. It looks like I'm going to end up on the 24 mcg. I'm slightly worried about that because that dose is the dose that most reviewers stated they had bad side effects with.

I've always had problems with digestion and constipation but since symptoms can be very mild you can go a long time without thinking there is a problem. The goal is to regulate your digestive system again.

How I manage IBS-C:

1. Yoga/Meditation. Yoga helps with stress management and helping the mindfulness that occurs on my yoga mat spill over into my life. Meditation also helps keep stress in check. I aim to meditate twice a day. I've been slacking on the weekends, but I going to do better. Stress can be one of the main causes for IBS symptoms so yoga really helps me be less reactive and calm. The December 2007 FitYoga had a digestive articles with specific poses that help digestive problems.

2. Vegetarian diet. This also helps because I've been reading that meat, dairy and eggs can be hard to digest. I already drink Light Silk soymilk and I've been expermienting with vegan cheeses. I really like the Tofutti cream cheese. I also came up with a IBS-C smoothie which includes ingredients that are good for constipation. I've drunk it twice. I'm not sure just yet if it works. lol I still like eggs though.

3. Exercise. I have this separate from yoga because I'm really talking about walking here. Although any exercise is good not just for the heart/lungs, etc it also helps the digestive system. 70% of your immune system is in your gut so it needs to be kept healthy. I read that walking really helps IBS-C, so I've decided to do better. I have a retardly sensitive pedometer somewhere. I might have to find it. The goal is 10,000 steps a day.

4. Probiotics. You need good bacteria in your gut to flourish and live there. They help keep the bad kinds out. I really want to try Align but it's $30 a pop so right now I'm back on Sustenex. I also like the Dannon vanilla flavored probiotic drink but it has a bit too much sugar for my liking. I'm on the lookout for the Good Belly probiotic drinks. Naked juice probiotic very berry was also really good but of course Walmart stopped carrying it and I haven't been able to find it. Perhaps it's discontinued.

Things I need to work on:

1. Mindful eating. Like lots of people I have a habit of eating while reading or watching tv. Eating should be a mindful act where you concentrate only on the sensations of the food.

2. Chew baby, chew. I've read that you are supposed to chew your food 25-30 times to help enzymes begin breaking for down for better digestion. You don't want big chunks going down. Or you can at least chew until the food liquidefies in your mouth. I really need to do better at chewing properly.

3. Drink more water. It is really so easy for me to just go throughout the day and forget to drink water. It's like I literally forget! I really need to do better especially when I get home after work. Fiber goes along with this. I eat whole grains/fiber but if you don't drink enough water with them, they backfire and you get constipated.

I've also read that when energy gets stagnant/blocked it manifests as physical problems. In 2007 when I had a Reiki massage she said she saw a lot of blocked yellow energy which would correspond to navel center which does govern digestion,etc. So, I'm back to doing Kundalini yoga once a week. I would also like some chakra balancing cds to listen to.

Get ONE WEEK FREE YOGA during National Yoga Month September

Throughout the month of September, people across the country will have access to an entire week of free yoga classes by visiting www.yogamonth.org. The offer is part of the National Yoga Month campaign which is designed to educate, inspire and generate awareness of the positive impact of yoga on health.

During National Yoga Month, one of a select few national health observances, millions will come together for free events and activities. Festivities will take place across the U.S., with hundreds of studios, teachers, individuals and organizers taking part in their own hometowns. The events are all designed to educate people about the mind and body benefits of yoga practice.

Visit www.yogamonth.org to get your Yoga Month Card (One Week Free Yoga) and to invite family and friends too.

National Yoga Awareness Month!

2009-08-23T22:26:09Z

"Practice and all is coming."- Sri K. Patabhi Jois (1915-2009) Ashtanga Yoga Founder.

September is National Yoga Awareness Month. So, writing this blog is my part in spreading the word on the practice that changed my life for the better!

It helped me to get over depression, to be more calm and less reactive, to see the positive in life, to be ok with setbacks or shortcomings because you just do better the next day, to set intentions so that it may come off my yoga mat into my life, to become spiritual (after being a skeptic for all my life), to become mindful and healthy. I could go on.

There are many benefits. www.yogamonth.org/2009/yogahealthbenefits_qa.php

There was always this thought in the back of my mind in my teens and early twenties that I wanted to be this person who did their best to act on their ideals, a person who meditated. It's so strange it happened. It never crossed my mind until one day I was depressed and I thought I want to learn to meditate and do yoga.

Yoga and meditation has enriched my life so much. It made me do more for the environment, to do what I can to be green. It has made me conscious in all areas of my life. I see it happening more and more everyday. It became more than exercises to do to being my lifestyle. Yoga means union and it chose me, it was important for my progress. www.yogajournal.com/basics/1153

I remember going to a recycling center the first time we lived in Germany in elementary school and I got really interested in recycling and the environment but it wasn't until I began my yoga practice that I began acting on the long buried feelings.

Yoga really does enrich your life. It is a gradual slow process but a beautiful one when you look back and see how you have changed.

"Practice and all is coming", it certainly seems so true.

Get ONE WEEK FREE YOGA during National Yoga Month September

Visit www.yogamonth.org to get your Yoga Month Card (One Week Free Yoga) and to invite family and friends too.

The Eco-friendly Comic Artist?

2009-08-20T00:08:56Z

Let's face it comics are particularly wasteful when it comes to the environment. Lots of paper is used at the cost of trees, pencils/pens are thrown away filling up landfills, electricity is used sucking up valuable resources, and inks/paints are washed down the drain into the ecosystem. Those are just a few of the ways comics create waste and a strain on the environment. This is without even mentioning printing!

I'm always working on living as green as I can where I live and with my available resources. I might can only do the small things but every little bit helps. What you are doing counts. Being green in comics was something I'd never considered before until now. But it's something I have to work on to align with my values.

So what are those who want to lessen their impact on the planet to do? Perhaps being a comic artist doesn't have to be such a burden.

+

Maybe the eco-conscious can marry their love of the environment with their love of comics!

Anything you can do no matter how small or large is better than doing nothing at all. I really have to laugh because at the height of my drawing period in high school and beyond I was always drawing on the backsides of paper, advertisements, flyers, it didn't matter. I was being green before I knew what it was.

Neither the traditional or digital method of the comics process is that eco-friendly.

Traditional-uses paper, pencils, pens, inks/paints, screen tone (possibly), etc. (even traditional utilizes electricity though if you want to put your works on the web.)

Digital- I mean totally digital here. This is using the computer to do everything. The only time you use paper is to possibly print out your finished works. With this method you could purchase carbon/other offsets to balance out the power/resources you are using.

Combination-uses traditional and digital. Paper, pencils/pens/ink, etc and electricity (to scan/edit/finish your works on the computer). This looks like it is going to be my method.

Here are some ways to be comics green.

In the Studio (or wherever you create):

*Switch to low-watt, energy saving bulbs.
*Use low-VOC paints when you need or want to repaint.
*Get some houseplants. They clean chemicals out of the air.
*Buy secondhand (saves $$$) or find eco-options when you need to replace your furniture.
*Optimize your electricity use. Try to become effecient at using your computer. Whatever you are going to use the computer for like adding in dialogue on your sequential pages make sure what you are working on is ready, so you don't have to stop leaving the computer on to get something ready.
*Don't draw Phantom Energy. Put your Desktop computer on a surge protector/power strip and turn it off when you aren't using it so you don't draw phantom energy. (The only downside I have for this is that we have a router and when you turn the power strip off then back on, you have to go through the whole song and dance of making sure the router/cable modem have a signal/address so you can get back on the internet.)
*Use rechargeable batteries if you use a laptop instead of a desktop computer. This seems like a better eco option than the desktop because it might not cost as much to recharge your batteries compared to your desktop sucking electricity the entire time it's on.
*Purchase Offsets. For alternative energy or trees to be planted, etc to offset the electricity you use. This one seems a bit tricky as you would have to calculate hours and how much electricity was used.

Supplies:

*Reuse. #1 rule.
Always try to reuse what you can. You can use scraps of paper to write on, print on the back of other papers, nibs/ink pens that are no longer good to draw/ink with use them to write with instead. You could also
take stuff from other people if it's useful for you. Say someone is going to throw out a bunch of pencils because they don't like them for whatever reason. Don't be picky, a pencil is a pencil! I know some might argue they need to use a certain pencil to draw with but I believe that's really all in your mind. It's the mind/hand/eye coordination you draw with not the pencil. So, take those pencils and use them. You save yourself some money in the process. Always use up what you have first before you buy more.

*Reduce.
The waste you create and the resources you use. Do you really need five different pens to ink with? Perhaps you can go down to one. For example, I'm interested in getting the Tachikawa pen (it functions like a Maru/G-pen depending on how you use it and you can buy ink refills that you can hopefully recycle) instead of using several different sizes of Sakura Micron or Zig Millennium pens. But use up what you have first!

*Recycle.
what you can. You can check out www.earth911.org to find out what and how to recycle things in your area or in general. Old papers, etc that you no longer want recycle them Shredded paper can be recycled too!

*Buy/use only what you need.
Blue Line Pro and other places online offer green artist supplies, but you should only buy those when you need to restock. Use up what you have first. Perhaps using some pens you didn't like will help you experiment and discover new techniques. If you have something you no longer want or need try and sell it online. They are plenty of people who'll buy your used stuff if they are getting it cheaper than buying new.

http://painting.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_be_a_green_artist

*Use recycled paper.
Look for recycled paper with high postconsumer waste if possible and available. There is recycled paper for printers. As far as drawing/illustration paper though, I'm not sure of the kind or the quality of what is available. You would have to experiment to see if there is a viable substitution for your sequential pages and illustrations. For instance, I have the B4 manga paper that has the print measurements and I know that it doesn't come recycled. The lesson for me here is to learn to mark out my own printing measurements and safe areas, if there is a good recycled paper available. Or I could use one of the premarked papers to make a template that I could transfer if I find a workable recycled paper. See, the ideas are flowing already!

*Use refillable pencils/pens.
This will create less waste and you should be able to recycle the container the pencil lead comes in and hopefully the old ink cartridges. There are pencils made out of recycled materials but I couldn't find anything on how to actually recycle old pencils (the wood kind).

Getting it out there:

*Web comics.
Use simple graphics and background colors that reduce resources. The link has a chart which lists the amount of watts different color backgrounds use. http://www.thegreenspider.com/save_energy.php

*Print comics.
Look for publisher that uses recycled paper and vegetable/soy inks. OR suggest it and see what they say. It sounds weird but you don't know if you don't ask. You want to avoid excess and waste. Hopefully, all your books will sell! Research is key here.

This article is a work in progress. I will continue to think/research ways to be a green comic artist. Right now since I still have a lot of old supplies to use up, I'm in the the Reuse/use up what you have camp. LOL.
Besides I'm still working on getting the courage/strength to get over my fear. I set this intention everyday before I start my yoga practice. What happens on the mat flows into your life, so soon I will be working on pages. I will try and optimize my electricity use not just for art but in general. I will also look into offsets. I'd think I prefer trees being planted or promote alternative energy (when I bought my OM necklace I offset it by buying a wind power credit. It didn't cost much either). Then I don't have to necessarily figure out my electricity use.

Don't stress about how much you are doing. Be mindful. Do what you can even if it's small, it all adds up. If anyone reads this I welcome other green comics ideas. LOL If I got more info about this I could do a book....Maybe in graphic novel format...

I looked up green/eco art and only found a little bit. I'm sure there is more info out there.
http://www.capfringe.org/green-artist.html
http://www.yourphototips.com/2008/09/15/how-to-be-a-green-photographer/
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1721592/eco_friendly_craft_and_artists_supplies.html?cat=24
http://www.aboutmyplanet.com/environment/daily-eco-art/
http://comicweb.com/goinggreen.htm

"Practice and the journey is the joy worthwhile"

2009-08-14T01:29:27Z

(That's a line from my poem Breathe, which is part of The Metamorphosis poems that I'm still working on.)

"We become whole by stopping how the mind turns." -Yoga Sutra I.2

I've just realized in the last month or so that I've been practicing yoga and meditation for four years! On and off throughout those four years, but wow. I hadn't realized it had been that long. I found an old half finished journal entry which stated I started June 29th, 2006. I think that time frame is fairly accurate. Correction: I started with the Crunch perfect yoga dvd doing the Joy of Yoga with Sara Ivanhoe. Then I tried Fat Burning Yoga with Sara Ivanhoe and eventually the MTV yoga dvd with Kristin McGee because my sister had those two, but she never really did them. I believe it was right after I bought the 8 Minute Meditation book by Victor Davich. I learned to meditate from that book. It was in an easy to understand form and covers different meditation techniques. I wasn't looking for anything philosophical or hard to understand, I was still depressed so I needed to the point.

I still consider myself a beginner when it comes to yoga. There are some poses where I can do the intermediate level and most advanced poses like shoulderstand, full wheel I can't do at all. I'm not upset about it the purpose is to just practice yoga. I've never actually been to an actual class so there are times when I worry about my alignment.
I'm contemplating going to the power yoga class tomorrow at EStep gym if they are still holding it. It will only cost me $3. But I really don't have a proper yoga outfit to wear. Not that it is a fashion show! I do have nice yoga pants I just don't have appropriate shirts to go with them. And then I have to make sure my feet look nice cuz you don't want to have feet that can scratch the mats apart. lol You do want to make sure you are presentable at least.

For the majority of the four years, I've had the same stale yoga dvds. A few new ones throw in here and there. I started doing two Baron Baptiste power yoga dvds and I really like the way he teaches. He includes motivation and quotes yoga masters, etc. I'm glad that I never gave them away. His dvd and the MTV one by Kristin McGee really have practices that I like because they incorporate the full spectrum of poses. Balancing, backbends, standing, etc. It feels like a more complete practice. I also like Sara Ivanhoe. I grativate mostly toward the vinyasa/power style but sometimes a nice hatha practice is good too.

It's really only now that I have become more serious in my practice. More devoted to reading the spiritiual and philosophic ideals (and also Advaita Vedanta) that go along with yoga and meditation. That's the reason along with being eco-friendly that I became a vegetarian. I decided Jan 11th, 2009, so it's been 8 months now. Wow, the time flies by.

I'm trying to revitalize my yoga practice the free and eco way by printing out routines from magazines online and I'm going to look for free videos or audiocasts that I can burn and do. I've been doing a few magazine routines and it's freeing to not rely on dvds. I designed a sequence myself on Yoga Journal and it felt wonderful to do it! I also want to branch out into getting some yoga/chanting cds.

My mini-book haul last last weekend (I spent more money that I should have and got some books at Borders, mostly spiritually oriented.):

The Essential Yoga Sutra
The Upanisads
Creativity: Unleashing the Forces Within (insights for a new way of living) by Osho
One: Essential Writings on Nonduality
The Bride of the Water God manwha 2 & 3

On a side note, it's also been 13 years since I started drawing due to the Sailor Moon manga. Wow, time really flies. I will reach my dreams because I'm already everything I want to be.

Namaste.

Writers, Authors, and Conferences, oh my!!

2009-07-28T23:20:04Z

So in my bid to be more spontaneous and light the fire of my motivation again, I attended the 5th Annual Clarksville Writer's Conference july 24th workshop. http://www.theleafchronicle.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009907050312 The Conference actually ran from July 22-25, but I only attended the 24th. I will look forward to next year. In the meantime on the writing front, I will work on poems and short stories. I'm going to enter the Writer's Digest Short Short Story competition. (I'm getting off on a tangent...)

Anyway, I had a really great time. It reminded me how much I like learning and being in the classroom atmosphere. It also made me realize that graphic novels are my first love over novels. Although learning about crafting a sublime fiction triangle, how to promote your books, seven steps to getting published, and how to get ready, get read, and get readers where all wonderful classes with lessons that can be somewhat cross applied. (This are just the ones I attended. There were others.)

I also enjoyed hanging with two other fellow writer wannabees. I should have gotten their phone numbers they could have been friends. lol

I also picked up another Writer's Digest yearbook annual because my thinking is learning how to craft a story along a novel line is not much different from crafting a graphic novel story. I'm rusty. I figure info on how to write and craft a story is better when it comes from all different places, not just specifically how to write comic books. I feel you could get a stronger story.

While leaving the Clarksville Writer's Conference, I wished there was a graphic novel/comic conference/workshop to go to in Clarksville. I know that certain schools hold courses and sponsor week workshop events, but I believe this should be on a grander scale. :D

This idea popped into my head while meditating last night (lol I couldn't breathe past the distraction), I was thinking that conferences are what comics really needs. I know that there are all different types of conventions and all like the Comic Con, but that event is primarily one for fans. I believe that what comics could possibly benefit from are workshop/conventions like the Clarksville Writer's Conference that are primarily for the writers, artists, pencillers, etc.

Fans of comics in general could come of course if they pay, but what we need is events to learn about different ways to craft stories, how to write a scripts, inking, panel composition, etc. I think it would be a wonderful creative life breath.

So maybe some of you are thinking that there's not enough interest or money making in this idea and perhaps you are right, but I for one would love to attend an event like this. I wanted to go to PNCA's graphic novel intensive 2009, pnca.edu/graphicnovel , but alas I'm poor and don't have the money. sniff. I paid $85 to go the CWC on the 24th and got a catered meal! I mean these workshop/conferences could utilize local artists even if they couldn't afford anyone special. You can always learn something from someone else. Maybe other places have comics workshops and only Clarksville doesn't. I don't know.

Another thing I lamented this weekend is when I picked up the Writer's Digest magazine, I was wishing I could pick up a Comics magazine that covered the equivalent type of things. I couldn't even find Wizard at the bookstore, maybe they don't publish anymore? It's not really the same as WD but I was on a learning high and wanted to continue it. I browsed through a couple of art magazines, but none really had what I was looking for. Does anyone know of a comics magazine online oriented like WD? ok, I forgot about The Comics Journal, but I've never read a copy so I don't know what's typically in them nor are they available in bookstores in Clarksville, TN.

I don't know maybe I want too much, but perhaps having workshops and magazines oriented towards the creation side of comics could help lend some legitimacy to the comics medium that's missing in the mainstream view. Don't ask me how it would do that, that's just what my brain is telling me to write. lol

"But I am not defeated yet"

2009-06-16T23:28:12Z

That l line by the way is a lyric from Tapping the Vein's song Another Day Down. Awesome band if you like goth metal/rock/electronica. Their second album is great! There are a couple of songs on that cd that really reflect moments and is like the soundtrack to Universe,my graphic novel. It even inspired some story points and ideas!!
This song would actually be the perfect end theme if Universe was an anime or movie. lol For some reason heavier music like metal etc really makes me think of ideas for Universe and just typfies it.

Anyway, I'm getting off on a tangent.

So, Sunday was sorta a rough day. I had a mini meltdown. I was all pumped Saturday about drawing and being creative again, but then I was disappointed with everything I tried to sketch. I couldn't even draw circles and squares to make the stick figure outline that you then build off of right.

So, I just sat there and cried for like five minutes. I couldn't hold back the tears. My sister kept telling me to stop stressing myself and that it would be ok, but she doesn't really know what it's like. She doesn't know what it's like when you used to define and be content with yourself because you could do something. Then have it ripped away and become lost wandering through a dark forest of grief where no light shines. All the feelings of lost and depression are gone, but whenever I do sketch and it doesn't look right, I feel like a failure. And the whole period of lost is experienced again.

But after all the stress, the sweat, and the tears faded away, in a unsatisfying sketch thing of beauty emerged. Warning slight nudity!

That moment of release helped the fears to melt away and the some of the old glory returned. I know better now than to define myself only by my ability to draw and write.

I won't give up. It's not the best art in the world and it might not be as great as I used to do, but it's mine. I did it. This sketch I named "A woman child", I imagine she's some poor girl sold off to some royalty for their amusement called a woman but still a child. I don't like the skirt, it doesn't seem to flow as much as the sleeves do, but I am happy for the fact that I drew.

I am not defeated yet. Another day down.

Things to do

2009-06-14T18:03:26Z

These are the things I need to do:

Read:
~~Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud~~
Makin Comics by Scott McCloud
The Writer's Digest Yearbook Writing Basics
Creating a Graphic Novel by Nat Gertler and Steve Lieber
Drawing Words Writing Pictures by Jessica Abel and Matt Madden (just started and I need to make sure I do the activities and homework)
Vanishing Point Perspective for Comics from the ground up by Jason Cheeseman-Meyer
The Idiot's Guide to Hinduism (halfway done)
The Idiot's Guide to Buddhism
The Idiot's Guide to Zen Living
Elements of Pantheism by Paul Harrison
Pantheism, a non theistic concept of Deity by Michael P. Levine (I definitely need to read this textbook, it cost $80!!)
Earthian mangas by Yun Kouga (my sister's. I really want some new ones. I would like to read Sugar Sugar Rune, but I don't have the disposable income)

Need:
A portable tilted drawing board (that sits on the desk or table)
a good ergonomic computer chair
Rendering in Pen and Ink by Arthur L. Guptill
Digital Prepess for Comic Books by Kevin Tinsley
some others I can't think of right now

On drawing:

I also need to practice, practice, practice!! I realized that I have this fear of drawing. Fears of it not being correct (proportioned, etc), of not being a decent as I was before, or even letting the pencil touch the paper. I'm trying to acknowledge those fears and just be positive and light a metaphorical candle to illuminate those dark fears and make them disappear, but it was hard yesterday. I tried sketching some ideas of an illustration for the Little Mermaid fairy tale because I was inspired by the illustrations of Ivan Bilibin (http://www.allposters.com/-sp/The-Little-Mermaid-Before-a-Statue-in-the-Sea-Posters_i1586836_.htm), but it seemed like I couldn't come up with anything.

There were no images formed in my head to transfer to paper and the ones I did do didn't seem that great. I had intentions of doing a sketch and then working at learning to digitally paint... There are no ideas forming in my head any more.There is this disconnect. The left brain has taken over and I need to figure out how to switch the right brain back on.

I was so pumped looking at images from the Golden Age of Illustration, Art Noveau, and the Pre-Raphaelites yesterday. If I could paint color illustrations along those lines I would be happy. Plus, I also got my graphire pen working again! It was a simple fix of switching the pen sensitivity closer to firm, because at soft it kept drawing even when I didn't want it to.

I really would like to incorporate the very detailed beautiful pen and ink style of the Golden Age of Illustration into my comics. I was particularly inspired by Aubrey Beardsley (http://www.allposters.com/-st/Aubrey-Beardsley-Posters_c35751_.htm). The problem is the incredible amount of time it would take to ink that level probably 10 hours or so for every page! So, where is the middle ground between beauty and efficiency? I wonder if screentones of hatching, cross hatching, and stippling exist and could be used?

I also looked over my notes, etc for my novel idea A Tale of Red. There was an excitment I hadn't felt in a while all day yesterday reading books on comics and thinking about writing. The ideas in A Tale of Red didn't seem too bad, either. I always wanted to write before I liked drawing and sometimes I think I should just focus on that because there isn't any inherent disappointment with writing like when I try and draw. If you don't like what you wrote, you just keep re-writing until you do.

The problem is I can't see Universe as anything but a graphic novel! I never envisioned it as a novel and for that reason alone I will persevere!! X___X Let's hope, I don't want to become the person described in Understanding Comics, who was so into it and then gives up. I'm afraid of that because I'm almost sitting there right now...

The Weekend's too short and there aren't enough hours in the day...

2009-06-11T00:42:02Z

Recently after reading an article in Whole Body & Soul magazine, I realized I don't have a good work, home, play balance. Literally, all I do is get up, go to work, come home, exercise, and prepare for work. Then the cycle begins again the next day like an implausible endless time loop in some extremely boring X-files episode. :D

On the weekends, when I have good intentions of doing some drawing, writing, etc it seems like all I do is clean the ever multiplying dishes, laundry, recycling, (I'm not even married!!); chores better left to a very appreciated house elf, alas I don't have one though. I've been thinking about this because I'm trying to re-light the candle of passion and love in my life. That passion being drawing and writing, but when I try to find the time it seems like ever controlling work preparations pop up (I need to get groceries for lunch, I meant to look for more work pants, it goes on). I intended last weekend to sketch, and type ideas into the Universe graphic novel data file, but it didn't happen.

There aren't enough hours in the day. Of course, there are a few solutions 1. make the time 2. get up earlier on the weekends 3. Exercise in the morning instead of the afternoon to free up the time from 4:20 to 6:00 pm to sketch, write, read, etc.

I have to do what the Writer's Digest Yearbook Writing Basics magazine said and let the dishes pile up, let the laundry not get done sometimes so that I can be happy and content by engaging in something I remember loving. Activities which gave me so much joy that I would lose track of time and forget to eat or sleep. I can no longer be ruled by the 7-4 humdrum of a job I dislike, but am glad for in this economic time.

Reading the Writer's digest special edition has caused a faint flicker of the novel writing bug to light up inside me again. It said if you take 15 minutes every day to write then you could have a novel in a year! I've got three titles and possible subjects.

A Tale of Red-about determinism and free will incorporates colors to represent the sides. I actually had some ideas fleshed out for this one, but I'm not sure if I like the direction currently. All are based off of fairy tales characters sorta. Like Red, the main character for this book is an allusion to Little Red Riding Hood.
*This was originally the name of an illustration collection I wanted to do of fairy tale characters.

The Hundred Year Beauty-possibly about materialism. This one alludes to Sleeping Beauty.

The Poison Apple (Refer to poison apple Snow White ate. But the apple is golden allusion to Goddess Eris and her apple of discord)-about solipsism and schizophrenic God. The new name for the idea Raison d'être. This one alludes to Snow White. The vague idea for this one started back in philosophy classes, I had the idea of a schizo god, who wears masks. God's personalitiy is always changing.

But right now working on my graphic novel idea ABBEJOCKWRY is the priority (then working on Universe would come next fleshing it out as detailed as it used to be, drawing characters, research, etc.), the digest said take a big project and make it small and manageable so it's not so overwhelming.

My plan: Draw 3x per week (Fri, Sat, Sun) for 2 months on ABBE. If it works well I can continue on in that fashion until it is done. Wish me luck!!

sMaLL GaInS

2009-05-14T01:33:07Z

An older pic, but I'm still trying to learn how to digitally paint! I wasn't too good at using colored inks/watercolors when I did used to draw and practice all the time!!
I always want my artwork to be immediately as good as the work of people I admire even though I know it takes practice and just getting in there and playing around. This is a work in progress in Open Canvas Plus. I do understand that you start with a large brush and lay down the flat colors first, then go in with a smaller brush for details and lay in shadows and highlights.

I guess i just need to play around with it....

I still haven't finished the Metamorphosis set of poems because inspiration hasn't struck me.

I have however been getting more into art again. Yay! I ordered two Scott Mcloud books from Amazon.com and I am impatiently awaiting for those to get here.

I've been looking over old artwork I've done and just positively believing that the candle of passion and dedication will light up in me again. I've done a bit of practice sketching boxes, re-learning/re-reading my how to manga books (the few that I have).

I also found the ONLY STORY THAT I EVER WROTE, DREW, AND INKED!! It 's very old version of my baby, Universe, albeit when it was called something different and the two main characters being a complete 180 from what they are now.

But even though I drew all over the page and knew nothing about layout, bleed lines, and the safe area in a comic page, I am proud of that work. <3 I like to look and laugh at the wrong things done in it, but still it the only story I've ever finished entirely.

It's been wonderful to consider what is the proper type of paper, pens, rules, and non-photo blue pencils! I even bought some Sepia Pigma pens at Hobby Lobby.

I'm just grateful for all the small gains. I do want to actually work on doing the illustrations for my ABBEJOCKWRY graphic novel, now that I've finally revised the script! I hadn't touched it since 2003!!!! >_____<;

small hopes

2009-02-08T17:00:00Z

Ok I lied, I did some other free writing as well. lol I also have written three and a half poems!! I got an idea for a story told in poems about my history and struggle of creativity called The Metamorphosis. I worked on it some at work when the inspiration struck. I'm so glad to be getting ideas again. I may not have done anyway drawing yet but anything creative is welcome! Thank you Kundalini yoga!! I want a chakra dvd now because I know working on them would really help to release energy and get creativity moving.

Here is the free writing done at some point in January 09:

#1: The only real face of truth is ugly and often denial. That which flows from the heart is not often true, it is usually a distortion of truth or nothing resembling truth at all. It is not hard to wonder why human beings do not like looking at their faults, problems or addictions head on. They would rather sugar coat it and pretend that shit just happens when in actuality it doesn't. Everything which is a problem for you: attitude, weight, health, etc. can be traced to how you live, what you put in your body, what you do or don't do.

#2: It is every day in life that one finds themselves waiting. Standing in line at stores, the bank, at work or at school, the post office, or simply waiting on others. But it is certain individuals in life who are always waiting; that sad lone individual standing at the corner waiting for a bus that never comes. The type of individual who thinks their life will begin when this happens or that happens, when they lose weight, or if they just met the right person. Sadly an individual like that will wait their life away until all that they wish and hope turns to distant grainy dust carried away on the wind as they breathe their last wistful breath.

Good things don't come to those who wait. The only things that do are misery, disappointment, disillusion, wrinkles, old age, sickness, and eventually death. Waiting and wishes are a fine thing for dreamers but to take control of life and possibly see what you wish for; there is only one way and it applies throughout the world: it will come from action and action alone.

Some are in denial and fail to realize this, and then there are those who even in the face of truth and understanding of this reality still believe waiting will bring them all they wish for...

Poem: a reject for the first poem "Spark" in The Metamorphosis. I don't want to use "I" in the poems but make them seem more impersonal and maybe even surreal. I always want things to be surreal and fantastical. lol

"Memory"

Let me speak of an interest
that began when I was a little girl
it took the form of writing about other people's worlds

The characters and circumstances I borrowed
but the stories were anew
I wrote about characters who fascinated me;
their worlds drew me like glue

No rules of writing did I know
nor how to tell a tale
but I wrote and wrote and wrote anyway
my right brain prevailed

No worries of how good they were
or if they entertained
I read them to my sister
such joy we attained

The free write

2009-02-08T16:39:20Z

This is a writing flow exercise where you just write and let it flow. It
is to facilitate getting into the zone when your write and letting the
creativity just flow out of you onto the page. You are not to stop and
edit or think you simply just type and then go back and read later. They
also say that is the best thing if you are writing a story to write the
first draft and only after you have finished it, do you read it and go
back and revise, rewrite, reformat.

I think that makes sense if you continually keep editing every sentence
you write, you will continually interrupt the flow that you have going
on or the possibility of getting into the flow. Right now, I am flowing
and this is not really great expression, but a writing exercise
nonetheless and that is good. They say you should write or draw everyday
because practice makes perfect. You must set aside a time for that and
let nothing interrupt it. It must be done every day and then in 21 days
it has become a habit, second nature to you.

Of course to gain habits, you must give up some bad habits like wasting
time on the internet or aimlessly watching tv that has no productive or
constructive value to it. I actually am really enjoying this, all of
these words are just flowing out of me as I sit here in this desk, in
this warm office with no work to do. But this is good since I can't
erase the internet history on this windows vista computer because the
ADMIN have disabled it, this writing is better for me. It is a chance to
rekindle the passionate red glowing embers of the creativity that once
possessed me. It was the fiber of my being. What I did day and night,
weeknight or weekend and there was so much intrinsic joy in the process.
I didn't really worry that much about my artwork or writing not being
that great, it was the love of creation that moved me. When I begin to
worry more about other people actually looking at my work and became
concerned with it being correct and good is when the left brain took
over the process and the intrinsic right brained love of drawing and
writing began to fade away softly into the night.

I miss the passion, the discipline, the dedication although I can say
that I never really accomplished much like Rivkah turning out stories
and products from start to finish. I more dabbed in planning and ideas
writing down this and that drawing characters when I really should have
been practicing the entire creation process. Go from start to finish,
those are cut and pasted words on my vision board collage, the lesson
that I most need to learn. To keep at something and not get distracted
and think of other ideas. If I do that's ok, write them down and then
come back to them at the appropriate time, but the one project should be
finished.

I'm worried about 12/21/2012 is the world going to end? I want and need
to write Universe before that. I believe that is the worthwhile thing I
should be doing with my life. That and attaining enlightenment, of
course. But I should also do some practice works like I planned to go
through the creation process. I probably could finish one practice 5
page run in 2 days if I actually worked on it. But I'm also trying to
read and gather info for Universe as even it has fallen by the wayside.
I used to have character descriptions and images for the characters but
now only Cosmos really has a image and not even much of a character
description. No more slacking it is time to get my ass in gear! No more
wasting time on the internet looking up things that don't matter, but if
I am on it should be relevant like because I'm sick or paying bills, or
looking up something for a story. I should also learn how to digital
paint, I have this need to be magically really good right away and that
doesn't happen. Things just don't magically happen, you must work and
practice at them and only then will you be able to arrive at the place
that you want to be. Strange how this exercise shifting from talking
about it to myself but I guess that is how it works. I could have
shifted to any topic but this is what is most important. This is the
issue at hand. This is being in the zone and just letting the words flow
from the pulsing tip of my fingers down into the smooth keyboard and
then onto the lighted screen. This is what I should always be doing.
What should have been done a long time ago, I could have been had a
small story or stories up on the internet as a web comic for people to
read. That is what I am thinking about for Universe. I won't worry about
finding someone to publish it, they main thing is to get it out there.
Out of the Divine mind and my own and into a place where others can see
and read, so that the Supreme Reality can be honored.

Maybe just having it as a webcomic will generate some fans and later
publishing would come. I also had the idea to put a nice image, the
series motto and my name and web address on a business cards and pass it
out to people who are around manga or comics. I also could join
different forums of discussion and use it as my avatar and banner, so
that others could see it. The best forums to join I am not sure, but at
least I had the idea and the visualization. Damn, I went back and read
over this and interrupted the flow. But wow, you really can type a lot
when you just let the words pour out of you like rain and your fingers
glide like phantom riders on the keyboard.

In Progress...

2009-02-08T16:33:26Z

Ok, so I've been working on myself trying to get back into the discipline of doing things that give me joy rather than just wasting time, potential, and my life. I've been doing pretty good. It's been 21 days now that I have done my yoga practice in the afternoon after work. Friday I went to see Coraline with my sis and after I got home I did my yoga practice at 9pm!! That is a milestone for me before I would just say oh well. I think I read if you do something for 21 days it becomes a habit. If that's true I need to try for drawing and writing as well.

I started actually doing two Kundalini yoga dvds that I have and I know the release of energy that has been occurring is the reason for this continued persistence. There was one day that I was so happy and joyful and I didn't even know why until I realized it happened after I had finished the Kundalini yoga. It was this overwhelming feeling of joy making me dance, sing, and smile that I hadn't felt in a long time if ever.

I also came to the realization that for a while that I became eclipsed by the superficial. What I was aiming for wasn't something I could ever be. I'm a nerdy geek girl and always will be. lol Anyway, I bought and actually read a book called the Tao of Writing and I can't remember the author at this moment.

It was about applying Tao principles to writing. I actually read it too, rather than just buying books like I always do and then never reading them. lol I've also been reading a book about Hinduism and Pride and Prejudice. I also bought a book on Buddhism that i haven't gotten to yet along with a couple of others on my bookshelf. lol

Anyway, the book was pretty good and interesting. I particularly liked the concept of Wu Wei which is to do without doing. I also identified when they talked about being in the flow when you are writing and being creative and time seems to just disappear. I tried also doing the free writing it talked about. You simply just start writing without thinking about what the topic is going to be or editing; you just simply write. I actually did it once and will post it in another journal.

Winter of Discontent

2008-12-07T19:34:53Z

Ok, so it's been a while. I've been preoccuppied with the task of removing the mistake of putting permanent black hair dye in my hair. And also recently some creative ideas for my baby, my graphic novel Universe that I've sorta been working on!!!! Also hating the cold as winter is approaching. I like moderate weather not too hot or too cold.

Anyway, the most disappointing thing was running into a high school classmate Saturday. Now, that' not really unusual for most people, but I went to high school in Germany, so running into a classmate is actually pretty slim odds but alas it happened. I was doing early Xmas shopping and of course I looked a hot ass mess. Why? I had my hair in a bun, because it's cold and I didn't really put on much makeup, and I didn't really like what I had on. I've been trying to work towards being more polished and stylish, but that requires updates and new additions to my wardrobe, and I'm underpaid like most people. Sigh.

So anyway, I was walking and I saw her and got this sort of quizzical (is that a word?) look on my face and asked "Why do you look familiar?" She was already looking at me anyway like hey I know her. She replied "high school" and then her name hit me. Of course, she didn't remember mine, but that was no surprise even though I only graduated in a class of 80. But then again I looked awful in high school, these huge glasses, horrible style and barely existent makeup. I was smarter, more diligent, driven, and persistent then. lol Anyway, everyone knew me as the chick that draws anime.

Drawing and writing I lived it then. I wasn't very good at getting things done all the way through like writing a story and then drawing it. I have a problem seeing things from start to finish because I usually get another idea, or I have a problem with procrastination. Oddly I didn't really have that problem with academic papers. I guess because it was for a grade, my biggest problem there was procrastination. lol. But in high school,I always got new ideas and was always drawing illustrations, unlike now.

So, she turned out to be married with two kids and her husband is stationed here. We talked a bit about other classmates that we had since here and to my record I've only seen two others. She was always a nice person if you knew her, but sorta dismissive towards others. Which she was being towards me (in high school and Saturday) because she didn't even ask me if I was married or anything. So it was short five minute convo.

Afterwards I felt bad. Bad about being seem by someone from high school and appearing to be the same hardly noticed girl I was. A girl no guys noticed or liked, a girl who had few friends, a girl who could have been nonexistent. I didn't feel bad because she is married and has kids, and I have neither of those or even any friends.Although there are times where I would like a social life because having friends is good for the mental and physical health of a person.

I felt bad because here it is ten years since high school and I haven't done anything with my POTENTIAL. That's what upset me. I'm a pretty smart girl, I mean after all I did major in philosophy and I loved sociology. I like research and thinking and I loved being in the class more having discussions then acutally doing the papers or even the reading, but the majority of the time I didn't read the assignments. lol Yeah I know, I learned from the discussions. I should have done better about reading. And even though I'm not a genius at those issues, if nothing else I'm creative. And all this time I sit here on the internet wasting time I should be being productive. Drawing, writing and turning out things. I could have possibly had something published by now, a book or a graphic novel, but I waste away my potential. I think that is one of the worst things you can do. Yet I hypocritically do it on a daily basis.

Dreams aren't any good if you don't work towards them. Nothing and no one is going to change your life but you. This is something I've been trying to drill into my head for years because I have a tendency to dream and think things are going to magically happen when I know they won't. A while ago I asked the Universe for a catalyst to help me be better, perhaps this is it. Something small to shock me into to action. I'm trying to be better overall. I have come a ways since I was depressed, which occurred a few years after high school about 2001 or 2002 and lasted til October 2006. I know that the meds and mostly my yoga and meditation practice helped. I've been slacking on those two. But I'm going to do it now! Improve myself holistically. Eat and take better care of myself, not just worry about losing weight, get up and practice yoga before work and meditate before bed everyday. Also draw and write and actually work on one idea from start to finish. I've told myself I'm going to do these things several times, but this time I hope it sticks. Maybe if I believe hard enough and don't let laziness, complacency, or mediocrity take over then maybe I can do it. Be the person I want/need to be.

Hopes and Dreams

2008-11-06T01:58:24Z

I was actually surprised that Obama won. I guess I was holding a really pessmistic view of the country not to mention the whole skewed biased two party voting process and the power of the Electoral College, but anyway he won.

I always hate how people are so blind when massed together like frenzied wilderbeasts running from lions. Any president following the disasterous eight years of President Bush would be faced with a challenge. The war, the economy and nearing recession, I really hate how McKain tried to paint it as if it wouldn't be an obstacle he would have faced as well if he had gotten elected. And the majority of the time, the President never delivers on the promises they make during the campaign anyway. There's nothing wrong with being hopeful that they will deliver on their word and that things will be better, but at the same time you have to be realistic and look at the track record.

I was also suprised at being emotional about the responses from other countries around the world, the public holiday in Kenya, the children dancing at their school in Indonesia, to the people celebrating in Japan in the town of Obama due to their namesake winning. I felt tears pooling in my eyes, but I know it was because I felt this feeling of temporary oneness and of all people coming together. Yeah, I'm one of those people who hold the dream of the world realizing we are all in one basket together and things can be good, positive, and hopeful.

On another note, I'm also hoping that the current interest in being eco-friendly and gentler to the planet is not just in vogue because it what's making money currently. I truly hope that it is genuine and earnest and since it's most likely not, even if I few people who wouldn't otherwise have been concerned with the Earth adopt lifestyle choices that help the planet, that will be a few more people doing it than before.

Hurrah!

2008-10-02T22:57:29Z

For I have been able to actually sit down and complete a task when it comes to writing or drawing! During lunch at work today I finished my script for my five page practice of the comic creation process.

It's actually one of the three ideas I have for practice. This one is called "Hello," it's not the greatest of stories just a simple one about a woman buying Caruso steam rollers for the first time to do her hair for a date. I like my ideas for the other two better because they are in the fantasy/supernatural genre rather than slice of life. But somehow I still get ideas for stories that are slice of life, etc so I thought I should do one like that, too.

I probably should do a longer practice with more pages like 20-30, but I'm taking baby steps right now. I'm really proud of myself. I have a quote (of several) on my desktop to *hopefully* inspire me to keep at it by an unknown source which says" Whatever you do, don't let progress go unnoticed--even if you are the only one who's noticing."

Which is the case, since I seem to be invisible IRL and online. *sniff* no one likes me.

THE BOYS ARE BACK BAAAAABBBBYYYY!!!

2008-09-18T01:04:39Z

YAAAAAAAAAY! The fourth season of Supernatural premieres tomorrow night and I will be under the warm familiar glow of my favorite show!! It's been hell (lol excuse the pun) having to go without.

And Jensen Ackles is so yummy... <3 Ok, now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm wondering if they are going to keep Dean in hell for the entire season or not. I wondered why Sam couldn't just find the Trickster god and see if he can alter reality and get Dean out of hell. The Trickster has altered reality before in season 3 when he wanted to let Sam see what he was going to become once Dean was in hell, but I guess that would be too easy.

Knowing Supernatural, the first half of the season will be dedicated to Sam and how he's changed in an obssessive way, and his attempts to get Dean out of hell, which will probably happen in the middle of the season (if not earlier since the show really revolves around the relationship of the brothers), and then the last half will be dedicated to Hell being upset that Dean is freed and the ramification of that issue being the main conflict for the season.

I'll get to see if I'm right starting tomorrow!!! :D If you've never watched Supernatural you really should check it out. It has great consistent writing, directing, and acting. I can't even think of an episode that I disliked. I have the season dvds, except 3 which I'll get when I see it on sale for like $25.00, and I never skip an episode or say ugh I hated that one.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! oh, on the art note, I've done some sketching and I will scan it later.

Be Inspired

2008-09-09T23:02:42Z

I try to remind myself that everytime I look at old drawings that I can do it. I shouldn't be afraid to mess up, draw badly or even just let my pencil touch paper. Whatever the result is, it is beautiful and worthwhile because I'm drawing and that's the point. Still, I have a hard time remembering this.

I'm currently reading a section of the Idiot's guide to drawing (because I'm trying to refresh myself with it) that the left brain is is the logical, language oriented side of the brain and is concerned with getting things right. The right side of the brain is the relational side of the brain suited to creativity. All those years of philosophy classes and just life in general has my brain stuck on the left side. I need to learn to switch over to the right side, which is one of the things taught in the book. I remember being absorbed in drawing or writing that time just passes by without you even being aware of it, it's similar to meditation in that respect. So, I'm working on this fear of messing up and not being perfect.

I did however create a collage from magazine pictures, a vision board, of what I would like to accomplish and have in my life. The feeling while working on it was wonderful, it was peaceful and mesmerizing and I didn't even realize how late it was. LOL. I'll get it back!

Well, back to surfing the net for art information that I need to relearn!!

Of Dreamers

2008-09-09T02:54:23Z

Being a dreamer often gets idealized in books, movies, etc, but as I'm sitting here thinking about it, there is a darker less often seen side to it. Well at least for me, anyway.

I mean I can sit here thinking and dreaming about having actually accomplished this or learned that, and I'm really talking about writing and drawing here. I often imagine holding my own book in my hands and feeling happy, overjoyed, proud, but I can't find the motivation to actually accomplish it. Perhaps, it's just something particular to myself or maybe other people feel this way at times. I'm not sure. I've learned to appreciate others for being able to sit down and complete a task and then hold the finished product. It's more than I can do, but I want to get there.

I mean it's great to be able to sit here and imagine but what good is it if you are too paralyzed to make it a reality?

None, and that's what I'm trying to overcome.